Passion

I had a poignant moment today at lunch. I went to my favorite Chinese buffet over in N. Augusta and took today's newspaper to read while eating. Near the end of my meal I read a news story about a 16 year old high school student who was so passionate about experiencing the battle between good and evil happening in Iraq that he spent his Christmas vacation traveling to Iraq to experience it firsthand. He didn't tell anyone except a couple of friends.

Now, after reading the story, say what you will about the lack of wisdom or naivette in this young man. But I was not only deeply impressed with him - I was moved to sadness as I thought about myself. I was saddened because, frankly, I don't think I care about anything enough to do what this young man did. I am so slow to inconvenience myself for the sake of somene else. Too often I elevate my own comfort above the needs of everyone around me. I often feel like the Pharisees to whom Jesus said, "And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them."

I was most deeply moved when I read these words written by this young man in his essay about the experience.

"I know going to Iraq will be incredibly risky. There are thousands of people there that desperately want my head. There are millions of people there that mildly prefer my demise merely because I am American. Nevertheless, I will go there to love and help my neighbor in distress, if that endagers my life, so be it... If I know what is needed and what is right, but do not act on my moral conscience, I would be a hypocrite. I must do what I say decent individuals should do. I want to live my days so that my nights are not full of regrets. Therefore, I must go."

This pierced my heart. Earlier in the story he stated that he had no religious affiliation. Yet this young man's heart sounds to be nearer to the heart of God than mine is most of the time.

Leaving the restaurant felling pretty much like crap I turned on the radio to hear this song playing:

yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
yesterday is a promise that you've broken
don't close your eyes,
don't close your eyes

this is your life and today is all you've got now
yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes

this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

when the world was younger and you had everything to lose
yesterday is a kid in the corner
yesterday is dead and over

this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

when the world was younger and you had everything to lose
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes

this is your life are you who you want to be
this is your life are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be

when the world was younger and you had everything to lose
and you had everything to lose

This is my life. Am I who I want to be? No, I am not. I want to care about something deeply enough that I would be willing to follow my moral and spiritual compass as far as it would lead me - even if it led me directly into the hands of those who would gladly destroy me.