Monday, December 19, 2005

This Desert

Yesterday was a frustrating day. I'm not really sure what to think about this time that I'm in spiritually. As we transitioned to Augusta, GA my hope was to spend several months between leaving New Prairie and beginning a ministry here resting, refreshing, worshipping, growing, coming alive again. I wanted Lynn and me to be able to find a group of believers that we could get into relationship with, worship with, pray with, serve with during this time of rest.

We have visited several churches here. And every Sunday that we visit a church I walk away feeling empty. I crave a worship environment where the people are truly experiencing the presence of God; a presence that is almost tangible. I crave teaching that takes me deep into the Word of God and causes me to leave thinking, "wow!" I crave authentic community. I daydream about what I want...no...what I need church to be. I think about it all day long at work. I talk to Lynn about it in the evenings. I think about it as I'm going to sleep and I wake up thinking about it.

Yesterday we visited a church here in town. I won't mention the name out of sensitivity for the church. This time we were made to feel more welcome than we have been at any other church. The people were very, very friendly and several made a point to greet us and make us feel at home. But then the service began. During the music, people were walking around, chit-chatting, goofing around. There was absolutely no sense of transcendent connection with God. And then came the message. It felt so incredibly shallow. And Lynn & I both left asking the question, "What was his point?"

I so miss the teaching that I used to recieve from my pastor, Keith Cowart at Christ Community in Columbus, GA. There is such a depth of wisdom with him. And his messages, though very practical, also take you deep into the scripture.

I so miss the worship experience we had at International House of Prayer in Kansas City. The presence of God was so real, so tangible, so evident on the faces of everyone there.

I am truly in the desert. This is my wilderness. God is, for the most part, silent. I'm beginning to think that His design for this season in our lives is for us to be shaped by the silence; shaped into people who powerfully experience His presence in the mundane, in the absence of human relationships, in the places where we least expect to find Him.

I'm going to end this post with a reminder to self, from the words of St. Francis of Assisi.

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow love;where there is injury, pardon;where there is doubt, faith;where there is despair, hope;where there is darkness, light;where there is sadness, joy; O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

4 Comments:

At 1:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you think you are alone? You are not. Many feel this same way. Many too are searching for identity with a body where they can be fed and nourished. Many hunger and thirst in this desert and find nothing that nourishes their needs. This area is a very religious area, but they lack substance. This area has far more churches in every nook and cranny of the CSRA and yet, there are so many lonely and searching people. And people who are hurting for lack of relationship with their creator. They want to find their niche. They want to find someone who understands their search and their needs. I thought you to be a planter. What you cannot find you must create. Any good salesman knows that you must identify a need and then fill it. Minister to people and you will be ministered to. mac

 
At 12:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some see a barren desert. Others see fertile fields prepared and waiting to be planted.

 
At 10:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are not by yourself Bill, We attend a spiritfilled Bapt. church in our area. The services are great, and the services everytime the doors are open are the same. The choir is full on Sunday morning, Sunday nights and Thursday nights. The pastor preaches like it's going to be the last sermon he will ever preach. The music is always wonderful. But the church is very large and it's been hard to get to know people. I know this is a busy time of year, but my grandchild fell at their school and fractured her leg and is in a cast up to her waist. She won't be able to go back to school for atleast 6 weeks.
Her teacher is a memeber of this same church. This church does alot for the community, they have a homeless shelter, and a bus that goes and picks up these people for church and they do good but we have not heard from anyone from the church except for her teacher who called the first night after the accident, and then someone else saying she didn't know. I have emailed twice and have yet to hear from anyone. There have been no calls or visits from anyone at that church.

Now the church we came from, was also very good. But it was good in a different way. The pastor can preach in such a way that I don't understand why more people aren't on that alter every Sunday on their knees. When my dad wasn't expected to pull through some brain surgery, we had many people from the church come and be with us. When he passed away, we called the pastor who came to their house as that's where we took him to care for him until he passed away, many people came to be with us until the funeral home came to get his body. These people know how to minister to those in need. We left because my husband was dissatisfied, he had been a member of this other church before and I know the Lord is moving in that church but I'm not sure it's where we should be. I'm hoping we will be going back to the other church as I feel there is more ministering to the people then the church we are in now.
The name of these churches are Victory Bapt. in North Augusta on Martintown Rd. and the other one is First Bapt church Belvere on Hwy. 25 going towards I-20. This is the church that I want to go back to. It's a Southern Bapt. Church and the other one is an Indepentant Bapt. Church. These two are just a couple of suggestions if you want to try another religion other than your own. You will be welcomed in both places, you will enjoy the services in both churches, you will hear good preaching in both services - but you will be ministered to more at First Bapt.

I hope you find where you belong. There is somewhere for you - God will reveal it. Read in Psalms when you are unsure. Reading the Psalm back to God will help you get through this time in your life and God will give you answers.
Blessings to you and your family.

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger Rex Miller said...

Sounds like you're ready to start a new work in your neighborhood. I feel for you and have been and are where you are. I know you'll find a place where God can use the unique experiences and giftings you've had to nurture some others. You'll like that even more than a place with a good vibe. Keep searching. As the dear pants for the water...

Rex

 

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